Topics include: depression, anxiety, grief and loss, stress management and decision making.
DEPRESSION
QUESTION:
I am so depressed. I’ve been this way for so long now that I can’t begin to tell you when it started. Sometimes I experience moments of happiness, but all in all, I really just feel all alone. I’m overweight and can’t seem to lose, no matter how hard I try. Could there be something physically wrong that prevents me from doing so? I want to be happy again and like myself again. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep and even more tired of being lonely. I work out and am athletic so I know it’s not because I don’t exercise and I hardly eat at all. Please help me.
ANSWER:
Uncle Sigmund can hear how depressed you’ve been even over the computer terminal. Uncle Sigmund wants you to know that there is hope and you don’t have to continue to feel this way. There are many effective treatments for all types of depression. Please contact the Counseling Center and come through the Walk-In clinic to speak with a counselor. For next semester, you might want to consider joining a weight management group offered by the Wellness Center where you can get support in losing weight in a safe and healthy manner. Don’t give up, whatever you do – help is available and Uncle Sigmund encourages you to seek it today.
Sincerely,
Uncle Sigmund
QUESTION:
I freak out during tests, and forget a lot of what I know. I’m worried that I’ll never make it through school at this rate. Am I just not cut out for academics?
Signed,
Freaked Out
ANSWER:
Dear Freaked Out,
It is common for people to experience anxiety during testing situations. Some anxiety is helpful, as it provides energy and concentrated focus. Too much anxiety, as you well know, is debilitating. Anxiety does not discriminate; it visits those who are intelligent and motivated for success as much or more so than those with less intelligence and motivation. Anxiety can build on itself unless one learns strategies to contain it. Usually it is some form of worrying about worrying that increases the anxiety into the debilitating range. Or, once having that experience, people often develop an anticipation of getting a debilitating amount of anxiety, worrying that one will “freak out,” further increasing anxiety, again making it more likely that one’s anxiety will increase into the obstructive range. Finding a good relaxation technique (i.e. deep breathing, visualization, success imagery) that works for you and practicing it until it becomes second nature, can help you contain your anxiety before it mushrooms into the unhealthy range. Other methods, such as becoming aware of catastrophizing thoughts (“I’m going to blow this test”) and replacing them with more self-enhancing thoughts (like a good coach psyching up a player for an upcoming performance—like, “I know you can do it”) can be helpful. There are a number of good relaxation & stress management audiotapes available at the book store. Or if you feel that you need more guidance, give the Wellness Center a call (262-3148); individual or group sessions can be very effective for helping people discover a method that works for them in relatively few sessions.
Tranquil Regards,
Uncle Sigmund
QUESTION:
Dear Uncle:
I’m a little embarrassed about this, but I’ve just been devastated this week because my dog of 15 years died last week. I’ve been sad and crying my eyes out all week. I’ve been trying to hide it and get over it because I don’t want people to think I’m silly for crying over a dog. But it’s getting harder and harder to hide how I feel. My friends are asking “what’s wrong?” and I don’t know what to say. Uncle, what should I do?
Missing Rover
ANSWER:
Dear Missing Rover:
Uncle Sigmund definitely does not find you to be silly or embarrassing. Quite the contrary, it is natural to be devastated by the loss of someone who has been so close to you for 15 years. Sometimes a death is even more devastating when it is a pet that you have lived with, loved, and grown up with. Your grief is very natural and Uncle recommends that you let yourself grieve in whatever way feels natural to you. Express your feelings, cry, be angry, remember the good times, and find some way to say good-bye. Find a friend who has a pet, and you will likely find much relief from sharing your feelings and stories of your dog with someone who will understand. And don’t feel rushed to “get over it” just because someone might think your loss is insignificant. You spent 15 years with your dog and will likely need more than just a week to say good-bye. You have my deepest sympathy.
Sincerely,
Uncle Sigmund
QUESTION:
I’m a freshman and I can’t seem to get myself motivated. I really can’t afford to be as lethargic as I have been these past three weeks. Please help. I’m usually motivated and prepared.
ANSWER:
Dear Tired of School,
Uncle Sigmund supposes you may be responding to a form of stress often called “burn-out.” Try to get plenty of rest, exercise 3-4 times a week, and eat a variety of healthy, lowfat foods. You may need to schedule regular study times every day, and commit to accomplishing some mini-goal each day. Equally important is to schedule some relaxation time, even as little as 15 minutes a day, to spend by yourself, reflecting, relaxing and refueling.
The Wellness Center has stress management groups that meet regularly each week, if you want to follow up.
Regards,
Uncle Sigmund
QUESTION:
Dear Uncle,
I’m really bummed out! I had my life and career all planned out and now I’ve decided that I can’t stand my major. Now I’m clueless. How am I going to figure out what to do now? Help!
ANSWER:
Dear Clueless,
Your problem is not that unusual. It is probably more common to change majors sometime in college than to choose one major and stick with it forever. There are three important things you can do to help yourself at this point. First, remain calm. As long as you work on finding a new major and preferred occupation, you probably will and there’s no reason to get anxious. Second, realize that you are not clueless. You probably have a lot of ideas about what’s right for you and what’s not. Third, be sure to utilize the Peer Career Center. Peer Career can help you determine what your interests, skills, and values are and figure out how those characteristics can be tied to careers. They will provide a lot of information and peer counselors will help you to utilize that information.
Good luck,
Uncle Sigmund